I LOVE quotes. Funny quotes, poignant quotes, sarcastic quotes, and inspiring quotes. I call upon them when a good laugh is required, or I’m having a conversation I believe a good quote would be the perfect punctuation mark on.
But, lately I find myself getting concerned by what I believe is becoming a trend. I’m starting to believe that many people use positive quotes and mantras as remedies to healing. What is more concerning? If their mantras or the quotes they love “don’t work”, the whole idea of having a positive mindset becomes bunk to them.
“Yes, I Can!”
“She Believed She Could, So She Did!”
“Life Is As Easy or As Hard As You Think It Is!”
As a believer in “What you think about you bring about”, I suggest people “Live in the YES!”, “Hope ALWAYS Floats!”, and “I Am MAGIC!”. But, do I say yes to everything? No. Are there things I hope for that do not come true? Yes. Can I pick the winning lotto numbers because I am magic? Wishful thinking. My mantras, and the quotes I love are reminders and tools I pull from my skill box when I need to believe the work I am doing is still important, and when things aren’t going as hoped. I take a breath, and use them to keep going and never give up. They are what I replace the negative, ruminating thoughts with when I need a reminder that I am an intelligent and capable woman who has lived through an awful lot of shit, come out the other side, and am creating a life I love.
I had a nervous breakdown at the ripe old age of 49. I wanted to die. I was a failure as a wife, a mother, a partner, an employee, a friend, a daughter, a sister, and asked God to just bring me home. I was tired on a level I still cannot find the right words to describe other than every part of me was silent and numb. At that moment, there was no coming back because I felt there was no hope. I had 2 choices; give up and die, or pick up the phone. I will tell you that the thought of picking up the phone and trying to untangle the thoughts that plagued me seemed impossible.
But, I picked up the phone. My journey to creating a life I love began that day. Did I know it? No. Did I think it was possible? No. But, something inside told me if these are the choices you have given yourself, you need help.
I worked harder than I ever have, and in the beginning of that work I was positive nothing would be able to show me I could pull myself out of the giant hole that seemingly swallowed me up. But, I showed up. It was all I could do, until each day I decided to put a little more work into myself. I cried, I stopped eating, I removed myself from friends, I faced every fear and negative belief I held. Some days I thought I would die from the pain. But, I did the work. And, I found quotes, sayings, mantras that I adopted to help replace the negativity my mind held on to. They became my reminders and helped me reframe my thoughts. But, it wasn’t the mantras and positive quotes that got me the results. No one can live on that alone.
It was the WORK.
In this day and age, most of us are not all living our best life. But the smiles, and stories shared will have us thinking everyone is succeeding, except us. The pictures do not reflect the hard work, failures, disappointments and moments of doubt that person endured. The picture doesn’t reflect the amount of time it took to get to that moment. The reality of where we are at any given moment always dictates the reality we live in. We can invest in ourselves, do everything we possibly can for a positive outcome, and will still be met with disappointment. “What am I doing wrong?” “When will I figure this out?!” “I just don’t know if I have anything left.” “Why does it seem everyone else is succeeding, and I am failing?” These are the toughest moments, in business and in life! We’ve reached the end of our rope, our investments don’t seem to be working, and all we see is failure.
THIS is the moment for the mantras; the tools we have to pull from that toolbox to help us reshift our thinking. The positive quotes, the mantras, the sayings read from a book or from a hanging on our wall are our fuel when we are out of gas. But, it is YOU who creates the reality. It is YOU who are the success. It is YOU who must do the work.
In the 9 years since my breakdown I have failed more times than I have succeeded. I have had sleepless nights, I have had days when I have wondered “What next?”, “Where do I go from here?”, “Will I ever be able to…(fill in the blank)?”. But, I have learned that success doesn’t always look the way we think it will. What do I mean by that? I wrote a book and released it 2 years ago. I had visions of it being on the NY Times Best Seller List, selling millions and appearing on morning shows as The REAL Face of Abuse as I smiled, told my story and inspired other survivors that they could create a life they love.
I am NOT a NY Times Bestselling Author, I have sold a few hundred books, and countless podcasts. Not exactly the picture I envisioned. But, I have spoken in front of young adults, rooms filled with survivors, at help centers, and one on one in parks to beautiful young women trying to find their way. I continue to do the work. And, on the days I see my bank account dwindle, and wonder “When will it be me?”, I remind myself I am MAGIC, I Believe I Can So I Will, and that I am already walking my road to success. And, if needed, I am ready to pivot in a different direction if that is where my road takes me.
Live in the joy of where you are right now. One of my favorite reminders? THESE are the good old days, so be present.
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