Well, it’s January 12th…did you fail at your New Year's resolutions already and you feel like shit about yourself? Or is that just me for like the past 30 years of my life?? Except for this year…because at 3 in the morning, an hour after I went to sleep, I woke up with a thought…New Year, New Me is complete shit! I call these little moments of thought my download from God. It's the things that I need to hear and understand to become a better version of myself. And this thought was just what I needed to break those crazy ideas in my head that have been placed there by society, TV, and the perfect people on Instagram...oh and let's not forget the number one guilty party...me!
So the thoughts continued in my head as I tossed from side to side. Who came up with this crazy notion that once we wake up on January 1st that we could be a new person??? Like WTF? (And no, I didn’t give up cursing for the new year.) First off, most of us will be slightly hungover or tired in the morning so that’s really not setting us up for success. Second, what the hell is wrong with the person I was yesterday?? I know you and I are trying our best! Thirdly, how could anyone really succeed in following through with all of the resolutions that they set for themselves? That’s why this is all shit. It’s just not possible. Well in my eyes, as this is my opinion, let’s not forget!
And in the dark, the thoughts continued, gratefully without the spins from too much champagne. So if a New Year, New Me is not possible, just what is? How about loving who you are and then trying something new every week?? Or even just one day a week? By the end of those 365 days, we would be a new person. A realistic time frame to make a difference. We would be the same person that we love with a lot less guilt and we would be a success instead of a failure. The favorite line that I took away from my short stint in the corporate world at The Container Store was a motto they said over and over, whether it was the store talking about you and your training or a manager setting up a team... ”Set ourselves up for success!”. We can’t attain a goal if we haven't been set up for success by ourselves or others. Has the proper training and tools been given? Did we prep? It could even be as simple as did we even watch a YouTube video on how to crochet or we just went hog wild at Michael’s, bought a bunch of yarn, and attempted to do it ourselves with no help? If we did that we would not be “setting ourselves up for success” but instead adding to the junk pile we feel like shit about because Marie Kondo-ing is not our thing. Thus, the cycle of guilt continues and it’s only January 12th!
So how can we set ourselves up for success in 2023? Now, a pro I am not, but this is for me too and it's from my heart. We will have to try it together and come back together at the end of the year and see how we did. Hopefully, we will love ourselves more than ever, know we have our own POWER and that we have achieved many different goals, and realize that some just weren’t meant to be…and that’s ok. We are ok…we are beautiful…we are smart…we are kind...just some shit isn’t for us…MAYBE pickleball just wasn’t our thing…but kudos to us for trying things once!
So let us give this a try together:
1. WE WILL NOT set 100 goals and expect to do them all in a night.
Let's break open our new pretty calendar or iPhone and set an alarm/reminder and add 1 goal a week. Or 1 thing we want to try. Go ahead and get lost and dream. I really do want to try pickleball! Anyone? What do you want to try?
2. SET OURSELVES UP FOR SUCCESS to succeed! Let's watch a video, listen to a podcast, read a book and educate ourselves with the proper tools. We don't even need to get off the couch so there are absolutely no excuses here. And this sitting on the couch thing works in more than one way. If we want to learn something let's look it up. If we want to make better choices when eating maybe ordering online will help us skip the ice cream aisle? We can look up ingredients, calories, or points while not having those temptations around us. We will be setting ourselves up for success! Promise me you will set yourself up!
3. ASK FOR HELP! I may not be the best at this but I am soooo much better. Thank you cancer for yet another gift! How about we ask someone to help us be accountable, or ask someone to go to a yoga class with us (I literally just did this), or maybe it's just sending a text and asking to go for a cup of coffee. Talking through the shit that is bothering us helps us achieve our goals. Sometimes we need that honest friend who is going to tell us how it really is. Text me!
4. KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this journey called life. So many times we feel like we are the only ones going through a journey. But, I promise you there are hundreds of people who are dealing with the same crap. I highly recommend being open and honest about how you are feeling because you will see that the Mom you thought had it all is struggling too. The real world is not Instagram so let's remind ourselves of that and stay off of it if it's bringing our heads down. Or, like so many brave women I know share it on social and realize how many other people feel the same way. We are not alone. We are human. Who will you share your story with? Come on Vented Uplift and tell me all about your "lessons" and let's Lift each other up!
5. GRATITUDE! Now this one I practice like crazy and will continue to do so in 2023! I highly recommend it! Now listen I know for some of you it sounds very crunchy granola but it really helps. If anyone told me in 2019 that I would be getting up at 6AM so that I could journal I would have laughed in their face. Every day has good in it, even when they suck. Like cutting your breasts off at 49, that was a sucky day. But, I was able to be thankful for the amazing doctors and staff that cut that shitty cancer out of me. Life is how you see it and I live in the beauty of it. So tell me you will try it. Journal, gratitude list, whatever, just start with one day. On the days when I feel shitty about my body I list all the beautiful things that it can do with it...decide where you want to take that. Just get up a few minutes earlier, grab a pen and sit in the still of the morning with your thoughts while everyone's asleep.
6. SEE FAILURE AS “LESSONS”! I have learned soooo many "lessons", it's kind of crazy. If, after I closed my first business, I thought I failed I wouldn't have gone on to open three more! (Yes, that is a total of 4 corporations.) But, I saw life as a lesson. And with every business closed more lessons were learned. I still make plenty of mistakes in business, but, don't we all make mistakes every day? Accept it and move on. You are not special. You are not the only one making mistakes. What will make you special is turning your failure into your "LESSON". Or supersize those "lessons" and share them with other women to help them succeed. Remember, in life, there is plenty of opportunity for us all to be successful!
I hope you will join me in trying a few of these tips for 2023. I plan on it being a year that I am kinder to myself, and to others and helping others succeed and myself too! We can make 2023 a better place just by starting with grace for ourselves and for others. New year, new attitude, more self-love!