Her ability to turn lemons into lemonade at the age of 22 set Chrisie on the path for finding her superpower at 50. We all have a power within us. By learning to give love and learning not to be a jerk we can change the world surrounded by heroes!
Good Evening everyone!
I am Chrisie Canny, wife of 28 years, mom for 27, I am a serial entrepreneur, I’ve started 4 corporations, the last one being vented in brooklyn for which I am CEO, I even hold a patent, I am an avid “FUNdriser” ( I really can turn anything into a fundraiser!) and my newest role of being a breast cancer survivor and advocate! These perky girls just went in a month ago! Aren’t they cute?
Besides all of those things I am also insecure, really hard on myself, I’ve closed 3 corporations because they failed and I fight with the word success daily. And sometimes I still feel like that awkward kid who got teased and called thunder thighs and cow calves and torpedo tits. Don’t think I am here with all of my shit together because I am not. There is not one person in this room that is perfect and if they tell you they are they are full of shit, we all have issues but we can do is learn to take our best features and nurture them. As I approach my 50th birthday in 20 days there is one thing that I have been perfecting and that’s my super powers. I’m here to tell you about them and to help you find your own power.”
As women we all have one super power in common and that is the power of sharing and that is why I introduced myself with my flaws as well as my successes. Because, when you hide everything you have learned, when you don't share your “lessons” or victories and just let the world see you as perfect then you are just being a jerk, a perfect Instagram snapshot that makes that other woman feel like shit, that she is doing life wrong, that she sucks…which causes her to feel unworthy. So tonight I stand here and I will share the kindness that was bestowed upon me 28 years ago and how it made me who I am today. I share so you don't think me perfect, that you relate to me, that you know that you are not alone in what you are going through, so you know you too can turn lemons into lemonade.
When Jen and Jess asked me to be a part of this Lightworkers event and to speak.. my first response was yes. Because all of a sudden I had this notion that I wanted to be a inspirational speaker. I literally had just put that shit down in my gratitude journal that morning… how could I say no??? Same thing happened when they asked me to be part of the Anthology book. So watch what you ask for because God is listening (I mean i did ask for bigger boobs when I was younger so… wait side bar…anyone used to do the I must.. I must increase my bust…exercises ) anyone?? I did that at the plastic surgeon and both the surgeon and nurse had never heard of it and looked at me like I was totally insane. I guess that will tell you how young they are. Well anyway…the topics that I thought Jess and Jenn would want me to talk about like my breast cancer journey or my multiple businesses successes and “ lessons” was not what they wanted to hear. “You know.. talk about your life and why you do what you do, like how over 400 bracelets were donated to Sloan Kettering on the day of your DM surgery because you asked your friends to sponsor a bracelet, or the $1000 tip you collected for the waitress that was a stranger …or the 40 days of Lent FUNdriser for 40 different charities…” And thats when I was like oh crap what did I get myself into. I don’t know how to explain it. I just do it. I haven't thought of how or how to inspire someone else to do it! But I guess I’m going to figure it out and that I did.So I reflected and really looked back at why I love bringing people together to help others. And its because of the random acts of kindness and the miracles that I was given 27 years ago that made me who I am today and gave me my super powers.
27 years ago I was just 22, a baby, the age my daughter will be this year, but I went from a child to an adult in a very short time. See, I was 22, pregnant, about to be married with no insurance, absolutely no savings, we both lived at home so we didn’t have an apartment, neither of us had a car and I think we had one credit card between us. I loved my job but I didn’t make a lot of money. I was the girl who got paid on Thursday and was asking for an advance on Wednesday so I could buy myself lunch. Mike was just starting out and was a short term hire. We had nothing but our love for each other, we were afraid of how we could possibly afford a baby and everything that came along with one but yet we had faith (most of the time) and I knew that we could pull it off and thanks to the love and support of our family and friends we managed it.
Our friends helped us find a 2 bedroom apartment for just $650! And in just 7 months time our friends threw us a bridal shower that helped filled our apartment, our friends showered us with generous gifts for our wedding and then not 1 but 2 baby showers. Customers at the store I worked gifted me presents. Friends of friends gifted us presents. It was crazy and so heartwarming. The company that Mike had just started with gifted us their corporate hotel room in the city so we could have a honeymoon for 2 nights and gave us tickets for a broadway show. I did not like Tommy btw. People rallied around us to set us up for the best life we could. I even found a beautiful wedding dress for $250 that my Mom bought me. My Dad gave me a budget of $5000 for our wedding and I made it work and stayed right on budget. We had 105 guests celebrate with us, the dance floor was packed and we had a lot of fun..I may or may not have been jealous of everyone. I could have used a cocktail or two that night. I was even able to get pe-cap insurance and found a doctor to accept it in his office for me so that I didn’t have to wait hours at the clinic. Wait, let me clarify that. A husband of a cousin was my doctor so talk about awkward at times and a lot of holding my hands over my eyes as but it placed me in a really good hospital and excellent care for our son. Anyone else have a hand up their you know where by a family member…. But it was all good. We were paying the bills, learning to be adults and enjoying our time together. Everything was working out for us, these were all little blessings happening all around us. All was perfect in our world.
On a Friday rainy dreary May day it was time for our son to be evicted! He was a week over his due date, was measuring over 9 pounds and I was done.On a Friday in May it was decided that I was going to be induced. time for the eviction.
Hours passed by and slowly we were getting into action. By late afternoon I asked for an epidural to ease the pain. I didn’t feel a thing after that and didn’t know if i was having a contraction unless we looked back at the monitor. We discussed that nothing was going to happen till tomorrow and rest up as much as possible. We watched TV and relaxed. Then a nurse came busting into our room and starting moving around the monitor that was attached to my belly in a frantic matter. She ignored us as we asked questions. The situation was becoming alarming and finally she said that our sons heart had stopped. And in two seconds a team was surrounding me prepping me for an an emergency C-section and an oxygen mask was placed of my face mixed with the snots and boogers that were now running down my face.
I was rushed into the OR ….oh wait you are not getting this story now. You need to read my chapter in the Anthology Magnificently Made! I’ll give you this. Our hospital bill was over $100,000.00 and thankfully since I was on pe-cap it was all covered. Thank God!
Yes, our lives may have been hectic when Michael was born but I have always looked at it as a blessing. It brought our family together and it brought Mike and I together more than ever. I never said why me God?? Not even with my breast cancer diagnosis. It was never a why me God but a what do you want me to do with this journey? How can I help others? What is my path?
We must count our blessings as they happen, there is always something we can learn from or grow from.
These are the moments and gifts and miracles that gave me my passion to help others. When you learn how quickly life can be taken away from you in an moment you learn to appreciate everything. I know what it was like to not have anything, to be a young mother and how some people looked at me negatively. I heard the whispers and saw people pointing and wonder if I was pregnant. But, I also had the support of so many amazing people who gave me the courage to prove everyone wrong. When I hear of someone struggling financially, spiritually, emotionally or even in business I want to do whatever I can for them. I want to rally a community around them like I had. I want to fill their pockets with cash like I had, I want to shower them with gifts like I had, I want to tell them that they can do anything and prove the world wrong! I have always wanted for people to not feel alone. I am very fortunate when I get these ideas on how I can help someone that I once again am surrounded by a community who want to help me help others.
And my community has grown because I myself have learned not to be a jerk (well most of the time). Did you wonder when I was getting back to the jerk thing? I wanted to call this talk can we all just stop being jerks, be nice and support each other. But its not that easy to do , especially as women. Not being a jerk is an ongoing practice for me. I was jerky with my reactions sometimes. Have you ever woken up the day after a party and asked yourself OMG why the hell did I say that?Anyone? Raise your hands?? I would feel like shit. I tried to be very aware and be kind but sometimes it just slipped. But finally, one day, I figured it out. I was jealous. And once I was aware of that it changed everything. I became a very open book. No secrets. I let women know I was jealous of them and started to ask them how they got to their success, how they pulled off the perfect lunches, how they bought that house. They shared with me and let me know its not all perfect. They shared how they grew, who they used and so did I. I realized that if I shared my stories and knowledge in business and life it brought us closer. See, none of us have our shit together totally. We all feel imperfect in some way. Even that women that we think has everything. She could use you. You could use her. You can learn from each other. But you must let the jealously go and look at how you can help each other. Learn the feeling in your stomach. Ask yourself why do I feel this way? Tell them your dreams and ask for help. Be honest and use your super power of sharing. Come together to help other women in anyway you can.
And to keep practicing not being a jerk watch what you say in your mind about other women. Try to understand instead of judge them or look deeper maybe the problem is within … we see someone in a short dress and say why doesn’t she just show the whole world. But maybe she just lost 100 pounds and she is really proud of herself or maybe you are just jealous of how comfortable she is in her skin? You won’t let your ankles show because you hate them and you would never wear a dress that short but you secretly wished you had the confidence. Is the woman in a low cut shirt with her girls hanging out being trampy or did she just battle breast cancer and is proud of the battle she won? Question yourself to improve yourself and your friendships! And yes, some women do not deserve us but I now end that with a prayer for them and try to understand what they are going through and leave the relationship.
Years after my blessing and gifts that I was given, years after not letting in certain women because I thought that I was not smart enough or I was jealous of them as I turn 50 I know my super power is finding how to make lemonade from lemons, I know bringing women together to help other women unites us, I know sharing your journey will help many and I know that my power is giving strength to others. So please dust off your cape if you haven't pulled her out in a while and go use your super power of sharing and let other women know they are not alone. You don't know who you will inspire with each kind word you share, with each gesture you do and the ripples of kindness you will cause. Go make a difference in the world by helping others in any way you can. Donate yourself, your time, your story or your money if you can. I promise you, giving others strength will bring you your own strength and when you need strength they will surround you and lift you up like I was lifted. Together we can fill the world with heroes one gesture at a time as we all sip lemonade together in a world that is better since we come together and shared our stories.
Go out and be the change in the world!
🦋Chrisie
This is everything I wanted to say on 6/9/22 but once I hit that stage some nerves set in, but I did it! I said yes and I am working on my fear not keeping me from the plan God has for me!
Thank you to the Inspired Girl Enterprises for giving me this opportunity! I am so appreciative of you Jennifer Tuma Young and Jessica Varian Maldonado! You bring such joy and light to us all!
You can watch my talk here ⬇️ Hopefully every time I get up on stage I will improve and I will get the opportunity to help other women with breast cancer or inspire a new small business owner to go for their dreams!
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