I lost my mom at the age of 25. She was 50, and the significance of me being exactly half her age does not elude me.
My Beautiful Mom at age 25
She never met my husband, and she never met her grandson. I argued with the universe about what was fair and what I felt I deserved. Just so you know, the universe never argues back.
About four years ago, when my son was just a wee babe, strange occurrences kept happening. I began accidentally breaking every gift my mother had given me. They were all silly little things but full of magical memories. The toothbrush holder she made in pottery class, the glass sculpture she gave me when I graduated high school, planters, and jewelry all broke in my hands.
I sat and sobbed over every shattered remnant. I cried ugly, dramatic, child tears. One time my son witnessed this breakdown and asked in his sweet little voice,
"Mommy, why are you crying?"
Of course, this made me want to bawl and wail,
"I miss my MOMMY!" but somehow, I was able to pull my shit together.
"This was a gift from my Mommy, and now it is broken."
Looking at his little face back at me, it hit me.
My son knows nothing of my mother. My husband knows nothing of my mother. In the 19 years of mourning, I felt that these items were all that was left. But something about their destruction woke my ass up. My mother's memory was bursting to be shared. In my loss, I had selfishly locked the gift of family away in these items.
So I began to tell stories about my mother.
The time I came home with purple hair, and she exclaimed, "Oh, look how creative you are!"
When boys teased me at school for having buck teeth and a huge honker of a nose, how she stated, "You're Italian! You have classic beauty kids don't understand, and you will grow into your nose." All the times she pushed me to do my absolute best. She made me feel like I could tackle anything. The more stories I told, the more I felt her with me, and I realized how similar we are.
I am now 44, and my son is 8.
My mother is weaved into our lives. I am the woman I am because of her. Instead of missing her presence, I see her every day through me. It is heartbreakingly beautiful.
I am proud to be my mother's daughter. She may have had her share of faults and hang-ups, but she was right about so many things. Because of her, I am strong, passionate, creative, adaptable.
And luckily, I did grow into my nose.
My mother is weaved into our lives. I am the woman I am because of her. Instead of missing her presence, I see her every day through me. It is heartbreakingly beautiful.
I am proud to be my mother's daughter. She may have had her share of faults and hang-ups, but she was right about so many things. Because of her, I am strong, passionate, creative, adaptable.
And luckily, I did grow into my nose.
She supports clients ranging from early childhood through adult.
Coreen is trained in Bioresonance Technology and Integrative Response Testing (IRT) allowing her to connect to the root cause of ailments. She has a holistic, non-invasive approach, making healing more effective.
For more information on beginning a healing journey for you or your child go to
www.peasandcarrotswellness.com
www.peasandcarrotswellness.com
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