Hi, I am Meredith Van Ness, founder of Balanced + Well Counseling, a therapist, and a life coach. I support and empower women to overcome their stress and anxiety, release the limiting self-doubt holding them back, and build confidence so they can focus their energy on what matters most.
We’ve all experienced more stress than usual in the last couple of years as a result of the pandemic. This worldwide pandemic topped with normal stresses may be putting you in a constant place of feeling out of control or overwhelmed. Although some stress is a natural part of life, we must learn to handle it in a healthy way.
Being in touch and admitting that we are stressed is a great place to start. It’s when we’re honest with ourselves that we can begin to do the work.
Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When it is working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. Stress can also help you rise to a challenge. It’s what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work or drives you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching TV.
We can even experience healthy and/or acute stress in short bursts, which can increase productivity or help us avoid danger. In other words, that adrenaline pushing you to finish that marathon or work project is a good thing. Your stress response can cause your body to stay alert and work harder to achieve those important goals.
After a certain point though, stress stops being helpful and starts causing damage to your health, mood, productivity, relationships, and quality of life. Chronic stress—the kind that negatively impacts our mental, physical, and emotional health—occurs when stress persists over a long period of time. We become used to this type of stress as a part of our everyday lives and forget how to manage it. This is why it’s important to monitor and manage your stress appropriately.
When you experience prolonged levels of stress, it’s common to forget about the daily habits and self-care that are crucial in dealing with the stressors in the first place.
Being in touch and admitting that we are stressed is a great place to start. It’s when we’re honest with ourselves that we can begin to do the work.
Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When it is working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. Stress can also help you rise to a challenge. It’s what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work or drives you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching TV.
We can even experience healthy and/or acute stress in short bursts, which can increase productivity or help us avoid danger. In other words, that adrenaline pushing you to finish that marathon or work project is a good thing. Your stress response can cause your body to stay alert and work harder to achieve those important goals.
After a certain point though, stress stops being helpful and starts causing damage to your health, mood, productivity, relationships, and quality of life. Chronic stress—the kind that negatively impacts our mental, physical, and emotional health—occurs when stress persists over a long period of time. We become used to this type of stress as a part of our everyday lives and forget how to manage it. This is why it’s important to monitor and manage your stress appropriately.
When you experience prolonged levels of stress, it’s common to forget about the daily habits and self-care that are crucial in dealing with the stressors in the first place.
The first step:
You must first recognize the symptoms.
Some of the physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms of stress are:
Physical: fatigue, sleep difficulties, weakened immune system, headaches/migraines, chest pain, nausea, and stomach issues.
Emotional: anxiety, depression/sadness, irritability, loss of motivation, restlessness, and mood swings.
Behavioral: drug or alcohol use, social isolation, unhealthy eating or eating disorders, nail-biting, or gambling.
Another, more relatable way might be this infographic which when I posted on my Instagram, a lot of people identified with. My clients often times relate to these symptoms too.
Check it out.
The second step:
Now that you have noticed the symptoms of stress, it’s time to implement habits that help you to manage current stress and prevent the continuous build-up of stress. This is where my Stress Relief Guide comes into place.As we have identified, it’s easy to go through life on auto-pilot. We fall into daily routines that become almost automated. And if we don’t purposely look up once in a while, everyday stress can turn into anxiety which leads to a lack of confidence and self-doubt. The reverse is also true: self-doubt can lead to worry and then stress and anxiety. It can be a slippery slope.
Sometimes you have to step back and examine what you’re doing to deal with stress and how you are actually feeling to see if this approach is working for you.
Think of something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off. Over time, it creates tension and stress. Having been stressed and anxious myself, I decided to create this guide that will help you develop healthy habits and decrease stress.
I remember what it was like to be the woman who thought she had to ‘have it all.’ The stress of trying to be perfect. The exhaustion of feeling like I always had to be busy. The worry that came with overthinking every little detail.
This way of living left me in a state of overwhelming anxiety. I knew I needed to take the advice I gave to clients and create a change in my own life!
THIS is where this Stress Relief Guide came from.
I now use it every day to help my clients and work through my own stress in healthy ways. I hope you will allow this guide to serve as the framework for creating a more balanced, less stressed-out life.
What does Stress have to do with habits and self-care?
Self-care has many definitions, but in this context, it means carving out space for you in the form of habits.
There is a misconception that self-care is a special treat. As much as I do love green smoothies and bubble baths, that's not all I am writing about in this guide. The habits in this guide are your very own versions of self-care, routines that you incorporate every day. In doing so, you will allow yourself to take better care of your loved ones too–because you will show up as a healthier version of yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup, meaning you can’t truly support and care for those around you if you’re not taking care of yourself first. But what if you forgot what a full cup looks like?
These are the kind of self-care practices that are an important part of stress management and prevention.
The 3rd step: Check out the guide here.
I created this stress relief guide to help you build daily habits that prioritize YOU. This is an important tool in the Balanced+Well program that I teach to all of my clients. It’s supported by science, psychology, and real, proven methodologies and strategies which help you to build confidence in your self-care habits. That said, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. I hope you will allow this guide to serve as the framework for getting back to filling up your own cup.
In it, I share a variety of self-care habits for you to try for yourself and see what sticks. Does one resonate with you? Try it. If you try something and don't love it, no worries! Move on to the next one and find something that works for YOU. I encourage you to try out 1-to 2 habits each day and replace what doesn’t work. The goal is to make these habits stick so that they become non-negotiables in your everyday life. These then become your very own formula for managing your mood, anxiety, and stressors every day.
Here are some self-care habits for stress management and prevention in the guide:
Healthy Eating:
Eating healthier helps us feel better when it comes to stress and anxiety. It also reduces inflammation and tension in your body, which creates the symptoms of stress. Practice tuning into your body to see what it needs and how it responds in different situations. . Are you hungry for certain types of foods at specific times of the day? Are you actually hungry or could you possibly be experiencing another thought or emotion?
Sleep:
Studies in long-term sleep deprivation have shown that missing those 'zzz's can result in a variety of negative consequences, including anxiety, weight gain, and a weakened immune system. Most (not all) people need between 7-9 hours of sleep a night to feel rejuvenated the next day.Movement:
Studies have shown as little as ten minutes of walking (or other physical activity) can provide relief from both stress and anxiety. Moreover, those extra endorphins improve your mood and ability to sleep.
Win. Win. Win.
If you're just starting out, try for 10 minutes a couple of days per week. It does not have to be rigorous; you can gradually build up your routine over time. You may need to reframe what ‘exercise’ looks like in your life. I try to find exercise (movement) wherever I can. This can mean a walk with my kids, a restorative yoga class, or gardening. Exercise does not have to be an intense workout every day to decrease stress. How refreshing does it feel to hear that?
Thought Awareness:
Did you know we have about 60,000 thoughts in our brain per day? That means paying attention to your thoughts in the moment is one of the most important things you can do for your
mind. Our anxiety can sometimes stem from a single negative thought.
What are you saying to yourself, about yourself, and about other people? When negative thoughts are identified, you can catch, check, and change anything not serving you.
Pay attention! Start to observe and journal your thoughts.
Mindfulness:
Find a mindful exercise that you can implement daily, such as deep breathing, yoga, meditation, listening to music, reading a book, repeating a mantra, or another healthy, conscious mindfulness exercise. Use this time to reset as needed throughout the day. Keep in mind it does not have to be a long time; research suggests that as little as 1-2 minutes of mindfulness each day can improve many aspects of well-being, including self-worth and body appreciation.
Some people find it helps to set a reminder on their phones for a certain time of the day. You can also download an app like calm or headspace to help with extra motivation. I keep my push notifications on for these apps.
Other ideas
You probably already have things you do or want to do to help manage your stress and anxiety. It could be keeping up with your calendar, taking a bath, drinking water, enjoying a cup of coffee in peace, decluttering, connecting with a friend, or writing down 3 things you are grateful for every day.
In the guide— Download here.
In the guide, you will also find practical journaling prompts and space to check in with yourself and track self-care habits. The goal is to become more aware of which self-care habits you can continue to put into daily practice. You will have the space to reflect on the week and your progress You will also be able to check-in with yourself on what you felt was effective, what you found challenging, and what barriers may be in your way.
I am a life coach and therapist, and I know firsthand, how it feels to experience stress, anxiety, and the limitations of self-doubt. My goal is to help you identify your stress and begin to manage it more effectively. I just know using this guide will help you to prioritize YOU.
Key Takeaways
Check-in with yourself regularly to proactively reduce the potential, long-term effects of stress.
Once you learn how to recognize some of the symptoms mentioned above, you can gradually find ways to handle your stress healthily. To get started, I have provided the stress relief guide.
If you have any questions or need help implementing these self-care habits, or managing your stress or anxiety, let’s schedule a call or a virtual appointment to go over your next steps. You can contact me at meredith@balancedandwell.org or check me out on FB, IG, LinkedIn, and in my private group.
I would also love for you to sign up for the Balanced + Well newsletter to receive updates about any programs I offer. (Bonus, you will also then get reminders to use the stress relief guide! )
I'm Meredith Van Ness and I'm the founder of Balanced + Well Counseling and Coaching, and I'm a therapist and life coach. I have been helping women for 20+ years by integrating traditional, tried-and-true therapy techniques with innovative life coaching strategies that create real results for my clients. My mission is to help women overcome their stress and anxiety, release self-doubt, and build confidence so that they can focus their energy on what matters most. In my free time, I strive for living a life of balance and wellness by spending time with my 3 boys and husband. I am at heart an outdoor, mountain girl and love hiking, biking, skiing, reading, practicing yoga, traveling, and giving myself grace when I need it.
Please Connect With Me at the Following Links:
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