When I think back to my favorite memories of time spent with loved ones, almost every one involves the preparation and/or sharing of a meal. Food was the central part of every celebration growing up and continues to be.
I am blessed to come from a family of close-knit women, not just my immediate family, but aunts and cousins as well. My mother grew up in a large cotton-farming family, and was especially close to her two sisters nearest in age – she swears its because they were forced to sleep together in a double bed their entire childhood! They were a family of limited means, but because they lived off the rich, fertile soil of the Texas Gulf Coast, good food was abundant and available. Working together to cultivate, harvest, and prepare food forged tight bonds that last to this day.
My childhood was filled with special occasions. We had (and still have) an annual family reunion at my aunt’s house in south Texas. The day of the reunion itself is wonderful, catching up with relatives whose names I sometimes forget, eating an endless variety of appetizers, salads, meats, and desserts, playing cards and volleyball and cornhole and horseshoes, but the real magic of the reunion is the days leading up to it. My mother and sisters (and now their daughters and granddaughters) meet, discuss, plan, and prepare a feast that could easily feed the state of Texas. And in the middle of all this, the real heart of it comes to light – true and lasting fellowship. It is a safe and sacred space. The same could be said for the weddings and funerals they have catered together, wedding showers and baby showers they have hosted. The “sisters”, as they have collectively been called, created, and passed down, a culture of true contentment, where the surroundings or events don’t matter as much as the companionship of those you love and care for most in the world.
Because we can’t get enough of each other, the women in my family started an annual “Girl’s Weekend” some years back. Each year during one long weekend in October, matriarchs and their daughters and granddaughters come from all over Texas, Florida, and Georgia to spend time together, play games, and of course, cook. We may eat out one meal during our time together, but for the most part we eat at the house, family groups rotating from year to year on which meal to prepare. We have been taught, and are teaching the next generation, there is nothing like a home cooked meal, one prepared with loved ones and shared together. Food is our love language, and around that common table, we hear old stories, news to be shared, and nourish our souls as much as our bodies. The effects of those treasured weekends last long after our brief communion, and each one of us returns home a better version of ourselves, ready to face the complexities of our daily lives.
In my own sphere, I have been granted the good fortune of enjoying the fellowship of girlfriends over a good meal. Several years ago, a group of ladies started a cooking club, the premise being that we would test out a cookbook, rotate hostess duties, and each month be responsible for bringing a different type of dish. We are now closing in on our 11th year together. On the fourth Thursday of every month, we come together to share a meal we’ve prepared, but end up sharing so much more. Over the course of a hundred meals, we have entrusted one other with our triumphs and trials, promotions and lay-offs, celebrations and heartbreaks. In other words, we’ve shared life together. There is truly something special that happens when you give yourself the time and space to nourish one another, both literally and figuratively.
The takeaway from all of this… find your people – family, friends, neighbors – and share your life with them – over a good meal, of course.
The takeaway from all of this… find your people – family, friends, neighbors – and share your life with them – over a good meal, of course.
The Duarte Family
Richardson, Texas
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