So, with that in mind, I present my dedication - To All The Jobs I've Worked Before…
1st job - William H. McGee, NYC - I thought it was glamorous to be working in New York City at The World Trade Center. The reality? I was a clerk for an insurance company that paid me $150 a week (before taxes) and called out perverts who were trying to press themselves against me on the subway. Yeah, the glamor wore off quickly.
2nd job - North American Mortgage Co., Houston - I was a front desk receptionist. I ran away from home to shack up with a handsome cowboy I met on a trip to Mexico. We got engaged, but I wasn't ready to get married, so I moved there to check it out. Less than two years later, I realized Northern boys with funny accents were funnier and more comfortable to be with than cowboys with a twang who drank waaaaaay too much.
3rd job - An advertising firm in NY - I was the assistant to the President's assistant. The company occupied two floors, but my "office" was a narrow closet with no windows and a computer with a phone on the wall. The best part of the job was the food cart that came around twice a day so I could purchase my bottle of Coke and a pack of Rolo's, which was the breakfast of champions at 22 years old.
4th job - PSA, NY - I really enjoyed this job. I was the assistant to one of the VPs. In my contract, I HAD to clean his office when he was away on business trips or vacation and make a pot of coffee every morning. The other assistants thought he was a male chauvinist; I thought he was hilarious, and his sense of humor unapologetic. While they got pretty bouquets with a balloon for secretary's day from their bosses, I got the biggest bouquet, two balloons, AND a $250 bonus always in a funny thank you card. I also got that for my birthday, Thanksgiving, AND in addition to the company Christmas bonus. And, when he took on an analyst, the bonuses doubled. Coffee never tasted so good. I left when I got pregnant to start the best job I've ever had...MOMMY!!!!!
5th job - Battleview Orchards, NJ - I had my daughter and switched to P/T jobs. The Orchards in the fall were spectacular. Hot cider, homemade donuts, and a cute general store. Picking season brought 10,000 New Yorkers every weekend wanting to pick apples "in the country." All-day long, men dressed in velour jogging suits complained about the bees ("How do you deal with the f*$king bees! They're so f*$king annoying!" "I swear to God, I'm gonna kill every f*$king bee in the orchard!"), while their wives, who were dressed like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny, screeched, "OH MY GOD! How cute is this place!". One picking season was enough.
6th job - Gymboree, NJ - Kids clothing store at the mall. Minimum wage, ridiculous hours, customers who were permitted to bring back clothes after each of their ten kids wore them AND got their money back. NEXT!
7th job - The Children's Place, NJ - Kids clothing store at the mall. Minimum wage, ridiculous hours, DID NOT allow customers to bring back clothes each of their ten kids wore. I spent hours being yelled at by those clients. NEXT!
8th job - Warner Brothers, NJ - Adult and children's apparel and accessories. Big, loud and managers ½ my age who couldn't care less about the customers. After listening to "Badeedee badeedee, that's all folks" 1,000 times and endlessly refolding shirts on tables, that was all folks!
9th job - Freehold Psychology, NJ - I worked as the night receptionist. Yep. That's all I got.
10th job - Crossing Guard, NJ - The shortest position I ever held. One day of training at a post that was a busy, two-way street in front of a middle school. I realized that just because I stopped for the crossing guards, it did not mean that all suburban moms, especially those late for ZUMBA or breakfast with the girls, would.
11th job - Lunch Lady, NJ - Although this job worked perfectly around my daughter's schedule so I could be home when she was, those little shits were a handful, and the noise level reminded me of the Backstreet Boys concert I once attended with my daughter when she was 7. We left that concert after she told me she couldn't get the cotton out of her ears (there was no cotton in her ears; she was going deaf from the screaming). I eventually traded Lunch Lady for PTO President, which gave me all the insight I needed into why so many kids were little shits, and taught me that the noise level of moms in charge of school events out-decibated ANY live concert.
12th job - CentraState Hospital, NJ - I worked as a Patient Access Representative in the ER. I was the person who came into your room to gather your insurance information when you or a loved one was either bleeding to death, writhing in excruciating pain, suffering from explosive, non-stop diarrhea, or vomiting. Fun times, great memories.
13th job - Edible Arrangements, NY - I became the proud owner of the first Brooklyn franchise. We opened three weeks before Christmas, and all I kept hearing was, "You're going to start seeing a profit right away!". What I really saw was fruit...LOTS of fruit. After 56 hours without sleep to fill those Christmas orders, I was so delirious I told my staff, "I don't care if you use your feet to make the bouquets, just don't stop!". I sold it two years from the day we opened it to another owner.
14th job - Solar One, NJ (I think that was the name) - Insert crickets.
15th job - AAA - The job I hated the most. They were the coolest group of people I have ever worked with, but my boss and I were like peanut butter and onions. The nervous breakdown I had (unrelated to the job) was a better experience and welcome break. Need I say more?
16th job - New Century Planning, NJ - Started out as a great job until my boss slapped my ass as we walked down the hall one day. In my HEAVIEST Brooklyn accent, I had to tell him that if he ever did it again, he would be working for me for free. We never recovered.
17th job - Law Office, NJ - I was recommended by a dear friend who worked there. Great staff, busy, and I enjoyed the work. At some point, there was a shift in our friendship, and I was told by our mutual friend that my so-called dear friend was whispering in my boss's ear about me. I was fired. I never looked back on the job or the friendship.
18th job - RE/MAX Dreams, NJ - The job I truly loved. I was the 2nd agent hired by one of my very best and life-long friends, who continues to live her dream of being a Broker/Owner. It's the job that taught me dreams can come true, that I LOVED networking and meeting new people, and that being my own boss was my ultimate goal. A crazy market made me realize my R/E run was over.
19th job - Culinary Classics, NJ - I was a catering waitress, and I actually enjoyed this job, too. I love any job that involves meeting new people! The other waitresses were fabulous, and the pay was good. But, the betrayal of friendship from my boss would end my waitressing run.
20th job - AUTHOR! Second to mom, it's the title I cherish the most and get to keep forever!
And now I'm on my 21st job at that swanky golf club. It will be short-lived because I refuse to give up on my dream of being an entrepreneur and the projects I've started. Well, that and the fact that my feet and legs won't hold out. When I leave, it will be with no regret or shame for not being someone who has been able to hold a job for more than five years. Instead, I will remember what my dear friend told me and remain fearless.
I will believe in my magic!
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https://www.amazon.com/Press-Pause-Breakdown-Rebuilt-Changed/dp/0578659328
~Feel free to email Maureen at info@becausesheis.org and check out her Facebook page
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