Why I Say Yes Without even Thinking

I hate this picture. And it’s not the fact that my hair is a mess and that I hadn’t learned about the magic of mascara. It’s that it reminds me of the night I said no to my Father. I said no to another dance at the Father-Daughter Dance.

I hadn’t thought about this picture in about 18 years. And it’s been 18 years since my Dad passed away from cancer. It used to sit in his home. The photo got packed up in the move when my stepmom sold the house and then moved into storage and then given to my sister with a bunch of items, and then it sat in my sister’s closet for I don’t know how long….you get it...it’s been in hiding. During my sister’s Covid cleanup, this photo came back into my life.

I unpacked the bag from my sister, unwrapped the photo, and found myself overcome with emotion and tears and sobbed and sobbed. Now as I said, Norman died 18 years ago, 18 years ago today to be exact. It’s amazing how in just one second, the emotion of losing a parent can come flooding back like it was just yesterday. But it wasn’t the loss of Norman. It was the guilt that was killing me. I recalled how I had only given him like one dance and then sat on the side, probably with my arms folded, talking to my friends, thinking I was cool. What an ass I was and how uncool I was. I would do anything to have another dance with him today. He loved to dance, be a ham, and get attention.

I never really learned to dance…I can’t follow directions. It was probably one of the reasons I was a jerk to my Dad that night. I was likely consumed with what people would think watching me instead of enjoying the moment and his company. “Do I look like a fool? I must look so stupid.” These were the thoughts that had flooded my mind not just back in high school but through a decent chunk of adulthood—saying no to things, people and opportunities because of what someone else might think about me resulted in losing out on fun, memories, and joy.

But then finally, something gave in me, and I realized what I was losing out on. It could have been a wedding and watching the bride dance with her Father. It could have been hearing about a young child dying of cancer. It could have been talking to cancer patients and them telling me what they wish they would have done differently in life and what they were missing the most. How they wish they said yes more often to life!

Whatever it was, I stopped. I stopped overthinking. I say yes to the dance even though I don’t know the steps, I say yes to whatever adventure you want to go on, I say yes to a costume party, I say yes to any idea that comes to my head and run with it, I say yes to someone who needs help raising money, I say yes to the trip, I say yes and I don’t give a fu.k what you think and how foolish I look. I am having fun, living the best life I can!

My family will be your favorite wedding guest as we are on that dance floor all night. I’ve shared my regrets with my children and have tried to instill in them not to miss out on life. I don’t want them ever to carry that guilt of saying no. I’m that annoying woman who will tell my story to every teen who rolls their eyes at their parents on the dance floor. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring us, so let’s live!

So today, I ask you to join me in celebrating Norman and promise me for at least this week that you won’t let your fear of what others think to get in the way of you living life. Say yes without even thinking. 🦋

~Chrisie Canny

For every purchase from our website today, July 13, $10 will be donated to the American Cancer Society in honor of Chrisie's Father, Norman Curran.

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