At 57, I feel as if I’ve lived countless lives with changing titles; daughter, sister, girlfriend, wife, mom, PTO President, business owner, entrepreneur, survivor, real estate agent, and author. Each title brings me back to moments and lessons learned throughout my life. Some bring bright, lingering smiles, some tears. But, every memory is of me being a woman who was needed almost daily, and a constant in the lives of others.
When my daughter went off to college, I braced myself for the empty nest symptoms I heard so much about. Like menopause, empty nest syndrome seemed to come with a very long list. Yes, I cried when I dropped her off at college, but her almost daily calls helped us to quickly fall into a new rhythm. When she returned to attend law school in NJ, I thought I was one of the lucky ones who bypassed all of those symptoms. She was back, and she still needed me to be her biggest support. Whether school-related, heart-related, or career-related, somehow I knew I could provide a hug, a kiss, a quiet night out for dinner, and reassurance that helped her move forward.
Fast forward five years later, my daughter is a Captain in the U.S. Army JAG Corp. living in Tennessee in her first apartment. I was once the keyholder to her life. Chauffeur, personal shopper, team mom, bleacher cheerleader, a warm hug, Mrs. Claus, and problem solver. Handing over the keys to her life made me happy because I knew she was ready. And, I’m proud to watch her achieve her goals, and soar.
Now is when I’m supposed to step into my new life, my goals, my dreams. Although I am still a mother, daughter, sister, author, and survivor, the other titles have reached their expiration dates which have freed up more time for me. I am single, live alone, and pursuing my dreams. Now is for me, right? Hmmm….real truth? There are more days than not when I question who I am, what I’m capable of, and if I’m completely nuts to live by the seat of my pants say the way that I am, and how long to I hold on to my dreams before deciding to put them aside, and get a “real” job.
This chapter should be entitled “WTF Do I Do Now?????"
I show up. Every single day. I’ve learned I’m going to start and stop many times. Ten years ago, if I started something I saw it through, even when it brought financial ruin. I bought into a franchise business. I was living my dream! I was going to be my own boss! I made it! Reality? Two days into training, I had a sickening feeling it wasn’t what I thought it would be. But, how could I stop? I was already in for the franchise fee! I had to keep it moving. Two years to the day we opened, we sold it at a loss. I should have listened to that fear; have been honest with myself and my loved ones. Instead, I was afraid and embarrassed to say “I think this is a mistake”.
Ten years later, this is what I know.
The next chapters are about doing the things I dream of, especially when I’m scared.
The next chapters are about choosing to be with people who are blessings, not blessing blockers.
The next chapters are for allowing my instincts, experiences, and gut to guide me; not shame, guilt and ego.
The next chapters will have no questions or concerns about what others think about me. The next chapters are for loving myself and living in the gratitude of a life filled with family, friends, and endless opportunities.
Yes...the next chapters are for me.
The next chapters are for allowing my instincts, experiences, and gut to guide me; not shame, guilt and ego.
The next chapters will have no questions or concerns about what others think about me. The next chapters are for loving myself and living in the gratitude of a life filled with family, friends, and endless opportunities.
Yes...the next chapters are for me.
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https://www.amazon.com/Press-Pause-Breakdown-Rebuilt-Changed/dp/0578659328
~Feel free to email Maureen at info@becausesheis.org and check out her Facebook page
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